I recently received an email from a reader (Hi, Allison!) asking if I will be updating this blog soon or if it's a lost cause. I realized I've been gone for two months and while I don't think most people care one way or another, I thought that it would be better if I just replied in an open letter to everyone who frequents this blog.
The last half a year have been a whirlwind of sorts for me. My dog had back surgery which depleted a lot of our savings, we are planning a small wedding ceremony upon the request of friends and family (why we agreed to it I would never know - I'm giving up a honeymoon in Scotland!) and in the latest bout of really tragic news, my PhD program has come to a grinding halt because I felt that I was going nowhere with it, I loathed the topic I was working on so much that I procrastinated to the point of being unproductive when it came to publications. I was stressed and scared and unmotivated and had absolutely no clue what I was doing.
Anyway, not to get into the nitty gritty details, now that I don't know where my next source of funding will come from, I'm trying to spend as little as possible (omg, no more imported cheeses!) which I guess explains why I have had no new posts of late or am even motivated to write about anything. I'm physically and mentally spent, depressed and broke. I have many things to be thankful for - a supportive partner, a loving dog (he will lick your sadness away) and a great family. I'm the kind of person who wallows in self-pity and am pretty obsessive and obstinate, so it's easy for me to get fixated on the negative things and kick myself in the head about it. Sometimes I think about burning all my engineering/science books and running off to join a rock band or work as a cook.
I looked at my closet just last night and thought about all the things I had accumulated over the years and the one thing I think I can safely say is that - it pays to build a good wardrobe. I can just envision that for the next three years while I'm still depressed and broke and chopping vegetables at Taco Bell, I'll still be doing it in my Steven Alan shirts.
In the end, I will say please stick around for a few more months and I'll be sure to sporadically post about my latest adventures in digging myself out of this abyss. I apologize if I have turned this blog into pages from 'The Bell Jar' but thank you for sticking around.